“Don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs, but how high he bounces when he hits bottom” –General George S. Patton
Why is it so difficult for us to get back on track when we get derailed by life experiences? Periodically in our lives we get knocked off track by unexpected events such as the loss of a job or worse, the loss of a loved one. Heartbreak and heartache are life’s bumps that can turn us upside down making us feel like a turtle on its back. And just like that turtle, we struggle by ourselves to get back on our feet. The reality for many of us is that we cannot do it alone. As humans we are programmed to need others. When we allow others to help us we find that even with just a gentle push, getting back on track is easier than we ever imagined. And so, you allow someone to give you that push and you get back on your feet…now what? This is where the work begins. You then have to take that experience and reframe it into a teachable moment. Too often we want to ignore or deny that dreadful experience and pretend it never happened, giving it open field to grow and fester deep inside. Or we do the opposite and obsess over it to the point of giving it full control of our lives and future actions. How successful has this been? Not very, I presume. How about this option: Acknowledge the event and the great impact it had; embrace it and then ask yourself, “What was the lesson here for ME?” Was it to have more patience, be more tolerant, show less jealousy, take time out for myself, interact more with others, slow down, do more, forgive, start loving myself? When we are able to reframe the experience into something positive, we can then get on with life with a new perspective. That’s resilience! Now you know. Let’s get to work.
“When you know better, you do better”. –Maya Angelou
Endora Crawford, Ph.D.