Feel the Pain

I have experienced my share of loss over the years and I have learned that no matter what it is I have lost, the process of dealing with it seems to be the same. There was initially a sense of pain and hurt, then came the journey to normalcy and finally a period of reflection on the message or lesson learned.

Loss can be a result of something minor like a piece of jewelry or something with a greater impact, such as a loss of a family member or friend. As I reflect on things I have lost, my mind goes from losing my smartphone to a job to both my grandmother and mother. The degree to which these losses impacted me varied greatly, but the process used in dealing with them seemed too similar. Whether the loss was something I anticipated, was the fault of my carelessness, or was completely out of my control seemed to have little influence on how I dealt with it.

What was your first reaction when you experienced a loss of something or someone? It is different for everyone, but did it sound something like this: What? Why? Why me? Why now? Why like this? What did I do wrong? What am I going to do now?

It may have looked like this: crying, staring blankly, cussing, praying, cleaning, eating, not eating, sleeping, not sleeping.

And you may have felt something like this: anger, sadness, confusion, overwhelm, withdrawal.

This is the pain, the hurt. This is when your head throbs and your stomach aches and your chest is pounding and you can’t breathe…

Let’s sit with that for just a moment…